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Sunday, April 5, 2009

Jim Carrey Gay Liplocks with Ewan Mcgregor in Next Movie!

Carrey, I love you phillip morris, McGregor, Gay Jim Carrey, Ewan McGregor gay, Gay movie, homosexual entertainment, Queer comedy
(I've updated this five times in TWO years!)
"I Love You Phillip Morris," starring Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor (Star Wars.) The movie based on crime reporter STEVE McVICKER's (Houston Chronicle) book, I Love You Phillip Morris: A True Story of Life, Love, & Prison Breaks, which followed Russell's adventures through the imfamous Texas justice system.


Russell's many bizzare escapes (usually on Friday the 13th) included using a perloined walkie talkie as a prop to get through jail security, using a green pen and a bucket of water to fabricate phony surgical scrubs and forging his own death certificate after faking a terminal case of AIDS!

An ironic twist to all this is that with the time added to his sentences because of his jail breaks, he'll never get to actually see the movie based on his life story! (Texas doesn't consider this kind of movie suitable to show to its prisoners... surprise surprise) If what I've heard of how this story was drastically altered in order to bring it "Carrey style" to the silver screen; it's probably just as well.

CAUTION: Don't be fooled by the photo!

UPDATE December 2009...Over the last two years, I've more or less left this topic alone, hoping that the rumors as to why this movie took so long to be released were false, and while it has found fans in Europe, if born-again puritanical christian Americans have their way, the U.S. may never see it.

I personally found it disappointing that the American version has been re-edited and parts reshot as not a comedy, but more... a lame comedy... a making lots of/too many funny faces, stereotypes, and swishing around insultingly comedy... in fact a typical "over the top baffoon" comedy of Carrey's. Whether this was because the star was worried about his sexuality being questioned, or that he figured that turning it into a typical "Carrey film" might increase ticket sales is anyone's guess.

In other words it was transformed into a "dumber than dumberer" comedy to avoid picket sign-wielding prudes outside every theater entrance. As of this writing, the movie got high praise in 2008 at the Sundance Film Festival, but for some reason it's still struggling to get a distributor west of the Atlantic... probably because some over-the-top sex scenes are being only shown in Europe and not the increasingly puritanical U.S.


The movie begins with Jim on his death bed, telling his life's story. What follows after that are lame jokes and lots and lots and lots of reassurances (probably to himself) that Jim Carrey's not really gay, basically by playing it so completely over the top that no one would believe it. Carrey's character is over-portrayed as a good cop, a good Christian organ player at his church-his eyes dazed and glazed with the love of Jesus (not a good sign in a gay flick.) He's also a good father, and a GREAT husband, with numerous scenes of him sticking his tongue down his wife's throat, along with him banging her loudly and enthusiastically.

It's a dead give away of where this flick is going when he announces to his wife that he's gay, and then he uses his stock and over-used comedy face afterward in one of the dumbest "Carrey clown" looks he can possibly muster for the camera.

Another typical shot is of his childish antics while waiting for an elevator with the police just down the hall.

Once you get past all of that, you'll see glimpses of what this flick probably started out as... no stupid jokes, and no baffoon's funny faces.. in other words a true love story based on actual occurances.

Ewan McGregor's sexy and innocent performance is the only saving grace, but not worth the insult to the gay community that the rest of the movie delivers.

Shoved aside instead of being edited back in so that they can be seen in context, the best scenes are meerly promised as "DVD extras" at Sundance, such as an extended gay kissing scene, and a near x-rated but tender gay sex scene that didn't make it to the final edit, (another one that will shock Ace Ventura fans involves him graphically pounding a muscle hunk doggie-style). that were played with passion and realism. These all promise an enjoyable hour and a half or so ...until Carrey ruins it by intentionally ending each scene that survived the cutting room floor with a stupid and/or misplaced laugh/giggle/titter for his (assumed) adoring audience.

Unfortunately because of that, it'll probably wind up as a direct to DVD release in the U.S., and a typical, yet hopefully forgettable "fag joke" (and a lame one at that,) where he ridiculously asserts that car accidents and attempted suicides can turn you into an overly stereotypical homosexual if you're not careful... the kind where you're gay you  absolutely must have the latest fashions (not) and gym memberships and if you can't afford them, you're compelled by your nature to steal the money to buy them.

--By far, the most insulting line in this movie is the wife asking if the "gay thing" goes hand in hand with stealing?, which could cause gay audience members to walk out of the theater in numbers too great to ignore and demand their money back-- Judge for yourself if I'm exagerating and click here to see the trailer for this complete waste of time, and take my advice if this doesn't discourage you? Either buy the book instead, or buy the DVD after it's been discounted... and use the fast forward button a lot.


Another reason for gays... or anyone for that matter, to walk out and/or not bother with this movie/DVD is that all the web-buzz about those sex scenes is just that... buzz. As I mentioned before they've all been edited to within seconds of their lives-if that.(groan) Oh they're being seen right now all over Europe, but will never reach America's Puritanical screens.

As of June 2010, It seems I may have to delete the "next" in the title of this review! Believe it or not, this more than two-year-old movie is still not available on DVD! I'm becoming amused at still amending this article that I wrote a couple of years ago. As of this date, it has been announced that the movie has been stalled indefinately at the U.S. borders; probably by born-agains waving their Bibles frantically while stomping their feet and screaming hysterically. Apparently demands are being made to re-edit the movie to make it "less gay"... Uh... hello?

I'm beginning to wonder how much of this originally "true" story will remain that way. The best bet would be to wait and see if the "European version" complete with explicit sex xcenes will be available on e-bay or somewhere... or better yet-buy the book on Amazon (click on it above)

As Much as I disliked this movie, I dislike religious zealots deciding what the American public can and can not see.
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